bad jokes with swearing

"Death Note" · 03-07-2009, 09:07 AM

A Muslim just stopped me in the street and asked me the quickest way to the hospital...................... so I pushed the **** under a bus.

a bit harsh yes i know.

The cops are on to us, they're looking for a sexy mother ****er & a retard, they've already got me, so grab your helmet & crayons and run like ****..

Man Driving down narrow road. Woman driving up same road. They pass each other, Man winds window down and shouts "****IN FAT COW." Woman yells back " ****IN BALD PRICK." Woman drives round corner, crashes into a huge cow and dies. If only women would ****in listen.

Gothic Story · 03-07-2009, 09:23 AM

:

: lol.

"Death Note" · 03-13-2009, 08:16 AM

I met a 14 year old girl on the internet. She was clever, funny, flirty and sexy, so I suggested we meet up.
She turned out to be an undercover detective.
How cool is that at her age?!

I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up.
She said I had to stop wanking.
When I asked why she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"

I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger hair kid, with two friends?

A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a d!ldo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry , that was an insect."
To which, her son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a **ck like that."

I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
He was chuffed to bits.

When I got divorced, my wife said she would fight for custody of the kids.
Took her out with one punch.

My granddad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed.
"It's worth spending money on good speakers," he told me.

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.
Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about Sex at that age."
"Curious about 5ex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her appendix out!"

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and seen a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said "morning."
He replied, "No, just having a sh!t."

Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in.

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low?

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

Ministry Of Sound™ · 03-13-2009, 02:45 PM

lmao nice daggs :giggle:

Police Officer · 03-31-2009, 03:19 PM

lol man every funny the first joke

04-02-2009, 02:24 AM

Good jokes.

~Angel~ · 04-02-2009, 12:45 PM

Short jokes yet funny. :giggle:

MissMia · 04-04-2009, 11:30 AM

haha cool jokes

Gothic Story · 04-15-2009, 07:44 PM

Yeah, great jokes!

simpleserenade89 · 05-05-2009, 06:27 AM

funny...i guess

03-07-2009, 09:07 AM	#1 (permalink)
"Death Note" Junior member My Mood: Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 209 Contribution: 0.09% Thanks: 3 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Gender: Male Credits: 1,567 Country: "Death Note"'s Inventory	bad jokes with swearing Share \| A Muslim just stopped me in the street and asked me the quickest way to the hospital...................... so I pushed the ** under a bus. a bit harsh yes i know. The cops are on to us, they're looking for a sexy mother er & a retard, they've already got me, so grab your helmet & crayons and run like .. Man Driving down narrow road. Woman driving up same road. They pass each other, Man winds window down and shouts "IN FAT COW." Woman yells back " IN BALD PRICK." Woman drives round corner, crashes into a huge cow and dies. If only women would **in listen. __________________

03-07-2009, 09:23 AM	#2 (permalink)
Gothic Story Junior Chatterbox My Mood: Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 4,052 Contribution: 1.66% Thanks: 36 Thanked 19 Times in 16 Posts Blog Entries: 5 Gender: Male Credits: 7,879 Country: Gothic Story's Inventory	Re: bad jokes with swearing :: lol. __________________

03-13-2009, 08:16 AM	#3 (permalink)
"Death Note" Junior member My Mood: Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 209 Contribution: 0.09% Thanks: 3 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Gender: Male Credits: 1,567 Country: "Death Note"'s Inventory	Re: bad jokes with swearing I met a 14 year old girl on the internet. She was clever, funny, flirty and sexy, so I suggested we meet up. She turned out to be an undercover detective. How cool is that at her age?! I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She said I had to stop wanking. When I asked why she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!" I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean, a ginger hair kid, with two friends? A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a d!ldo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry , that was an insect." To which, her son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a **ck like that." I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits. When I got divorced, my wife said she would fight for custody of the kids. Took her out with one punch. My granddad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed. "It's worth spending money on good speakers," he told me. A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter. Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about Sex at that age." "Curious about 5ex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her appendix out!" I was walking in a cemetery this morning and seen a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said "morning." He replied, "No, just having a sh!t." Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in. I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low? I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?" __________________

03-13-2009, 02:45 PM	#4 (permalink)
Ministry Of Sound™ Man On Fire My Mood: Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 8,931 Contribution: 3.66% Thanks: 42 Thanked 71 Times in 47 Posts Blog Entries: 9 Location: Victoria Gender: Male Credits: 18,917 Country: Ministry Of Sound™'s Inventory	Re: bad jokes with swearing lmao nice daggs :giggle: __________________

03-31-2009, 03:19 PM	#5 (permalink)
Police Officer Fourmcentral Police Officer My Mood: Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 469 Contribution: 0.19% Thanks: 18 Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts Blog Entries: 3 Location: Forest lake, Qld Gender: Male Age: 16 Credits: 1,921 Country: Tournaments Won: 2 Police Officer's Inventory	Re: bad jokes with swearing lol man every funny the first joke __________________ Love know how to say i will never forget you My police car

04-02-2009, 02:24 AM	#6 (permalink)
Diante Guest Posts: n/a Contribution: 0% Credits: 0 [Check] Tournaments Won: 1 Diante's Inventory	Re: bad jokes with swearing Good jokes.

04-02-2009, 12:45 PM	#7 (permalink)
~Angel~ Junior member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 260 Contribution: 0.11% Thanks: 14 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Location: Western New York, USA Gender: Female Age: 24 Credits: 3,125 Country: ~Angel~'s Inventory	Re: bad jokes with swearing Short jokes yet funny. :giggle: __________________ ~Sweet as an Angel~

04-04-2009, 11:30 AM	#8 (permalink)
MissMia Newbie Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 18 Contribution: 0.01% Thanks: 1 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Location: Australia Gender: Female Age: 20 Credits: 629 Country: MissMia's Inventory	Re: bad jokes with swearing haha cool jokes __________________ Hi i'm Mia What a babe <3

04-15-2009, 07:44 PM	#9 (permalink)
Gothic Story Junior Chatterbox My Mood: Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 4,052 Contribution: 1.66% Thanks: 36 Thanked 19 Times in 16 Posts Blog Entries: 5 Gender: Male Credits: 7,879 Country: Gothic Story's Inventory	Re: bad jokes with swearing Yeah, great jokes! __________________ Last edited by Diante; 04-16-2009 at 12:59 AM. Reason: Removed Quote & Posted On Topic.

05-05-2009, 06:27 AM	#10 (permalink)
simpleserenade89 Newbie Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 24 Contribution: 0.01% Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Gender: Female Age: 20 Credits: 744 Country: simpleserenade89's Inventory	Re: bad jokes with swearing funny...i guess

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